Resurgence
“Things are opening up!” I have heard this saying about a million times over the past year- and it was true each time. Every month brought its own new step forward… and slowly but surely, I adapted to the little changes that made life feel more and more normal. What I didn’t realize though, was how accustomed I had become the “rules” that came with the pandemic- the mask wearing which meant I didn’t need to put on make-up; the everyone-is-staying-at-home so I’m totally fine to wear athleisure gear 24/7; the vaccination argument which meant I didn’t have to socialize; and, the anonymity of no one recognizing me even if I did leave the house. So while I’m 100% ready for my great resurgence into the world, I’m also a little bit lost about who I am, what I’m doing here, and what the hell I’m supposed to wear!
I don’t know about you, but I’m not the same person I was when this pandemic began. I’ve sold my house. I’ve moved twice. I bought a car. I chopped all my hair off. I’ve gained weight. I’ve lost weight. I’ve meditated, medicated, movie watched, hiked, rearranged furniture, tried new hobbies, and gotten new gadgets. I’ve reconnected with old friends, made new friends, and I’ve gotten to know my kids a lot better. I’m the same, but I’m different. Now that we are in this phase of taking masks off and freely entering stores all willy-nilly like it’s 2019, I’m realizing that nothing is what it seems.
The checkout person at my favorite store looks NOTHING like I thought they would. The coaches at my kid’s gymnastics class are not 17, they’re like 20 year olds with facial hair! Although these sound like absolutely normal scenarios (obviously, people look different without their masks) it’s blowing my freaking mind. Even the world I thought I’d become accustomed to is actually nothing like I thought it was. As I reflect more and more on this, I’m reflecting more and more on who I thought I was and who I really am.
So while I’m over here getting ready for my great resurgence, I realize that in a way, I’ve already done that. The clothes, the make-up, the way I communicated with people…all of that was armor. Armor I had built up over the last 40 years so that I could be perceived a certain way and accepted. When it comes down to it, the pandemic made me see the true me clearer than I ever have. There was no armor, no façade, no needless conversations…everything I did was intentional. I made the effort to go out and do things when I wanted to…not when I was required to. I got dressed in what was natural to me…not what was required for my professional appearance. I put on make-up when I needed a little boost of my self-esteem…not just because I was going out in public. At the root of all the chaos, I found the me that is naturally me.
Thanks to mask wearing, I randomly talked to strangers a lot. The world was so starving for contact with each other, I feel like everyone got super chatty. Masked up and anonymous, we stood in lines chatting, we walked down aisles chatting, and we didn’t rely on nonverbal communication and a smile when we passed someone. We spoke!
Thanks to being trapped inside, I took up some hobbies that I’d been wanting to get into. I joined a bunch of new groups on social media and asked questions. I helped where I could and actually responded to posts when I had the answer someone was looking for. Starving for connection, we turned to online platforms and began to learn from each other as we tried out those new things we’d kept putting off. We grew!
The more I think about my upcoming “great resurgence” the more I have to smile to myself and whisper, “Girl, you did that!” The 2019 me is not the 2021 me…and I’m so cool with that. The tricky part is going to be staying true to the me I found without letting the world close me back off. I have to keep talking to strangers, keep engaging with my community, and keep my quirky sense of style. The pandemic me stepped out of my bubble and reached my hand out to the world just longing to connect in more meaningful ways. My resurgence isn’t a new me. It’s a better me. A focused me. A powerful me.
So watch out world. A whole lot of woke people are about to show up at your doorstep. Ready to conquer, ready to connect, and super ready for a hug.
Summer Issue 5
This season’s issue tells the story of local Seattle creatives Amber Larks, Bob Horan, and Aria Bird. Reflecting on this years resurgence from years past with guest writers Natalie Jamali and Chandra Gonsales. Prompting readers and creatives alike as to how they will cultivate a mindful and inspired resurgence of their own this summer. Discover new creatives and local small businesses in the back of each issues creative directory.
10% of this issue’s Zine sales goes directly back to the creatives featured within. Thank you for your support of Seattle’s ever growing creative community.
(Download link to digital issue expires 24 hours after purchase. Domestic Shipping Only.)
